Anti-climactic toads

Write, just write.
I tell myself this all the time. But do I? Not really.
It's tragic. I have what I believe is a gift and I don't truly use it. Not like I could.
This is one of those awful days where I sit staring at my laptop screen, wishing I was Charles Dickens and had something fascinating, in-depth, marvelous to share with you.
I saw a toad today. He (...or she--not an expert on frog anatomy here) was frozen to death.
That's all I got. I know, pathetic. You were probably hoping to read about me finding a lost diary of someone who did something interesting way back when. Not today! No, today I saw a dead toad. How anti-climactic of me.
Now that I have failed you most cruelly, my dear reader, perhaps you'd like to find something more interesting to occupy your time. Like FB or Pinterest or something with pictures. And how can I blame you? If only I could compete! I wish I lived back in the 1800s when a simple, comical illustration every 500 pages or so was sufficient to please a reader. Not so today! Ha! Oh, Dickens...how wonderful your world was!
Hold on, my fiance is explaining to me the details of under-gravel aquarium filters.
At least he is still a hands-on explorer in this modern day. It makes me smile. Besides that, I love to learn new things.
I can't wait till we get some fish in that tank. Ahem. "Aquarium." I almost feel sorry for wanting to put a living creature in a completely see-through environment where I control its existence. What a life for the poor fish! But at the same time, I find it fascinating! Except when the fish die. The other fish start eating them and it's just gross.
I think I'm simply addicted to characters. I like the names, the personalities, their plots and plans and stories. The details. Probably why I love the classics so much, too. All the greats wrote magnificent characters! Jane Austen with her bored and mischievous Emma; Anne Bronte's gallant Gilbert; L. M. Montgomery's dreamy, imaginative Anne; Du Maurier's sweet and naive female protagonist without a name; Dickens and his tragic hero Sydney Carton, comical Mr. Pickwick, hypocritical Seth Pecksniff, noble John Harmon and mysterious Lady Dedlock...I could go on and on.
I just hope someday soon my characters will become that legendary. These days characters are less and less interesting. The readers either don't care or can't find anything else to read so they don't demand better writers. It's so frustrating to hear about "literature" that is only widely read because there is an accompanying movie to make it worth reading. *cough Stephanie Meyer cough*
Books should be deep. Characters should be complex. Readers should demand more from their authors. It's about impact. Not making a dollar.
Just the opinion of one very dedicated classic lit nerd. Think what you will.
So even though nothing more dramatic happened today than the death of a toad, I wrote. :)

Don't stop being you

Yesterday, an acquaintance of mine came up to me and asked if he could tell me something.
I stopped and said "sure." He looked at me and said, very sincerely, "in getting married, just make sure you don't stop being who you are."
I smiled because it's something that I hadn't really thought much about in the whole wedding-planning processes. Everyone has their own very unique personality, with intricacies and oddities that are completely exclusive to that particular individual.
But, however unique and diverse a person may be, humanity has it's ways of pasting on a fantastic facade. For various reasons, we often believe we are not "good enough" in our own skin. We essentially want to be amazing and are too afraid to be confident in the fact that we already are. Instead, we take a tip from the ever-present media and borrow a popular image to mock.
If you really think about it, that isn't being very fair to ourselves. And, overall, it just ends up making us miserable. Be you.
Start by making a list. (I love lists!) Write down 10-20 things about yourself that you think are quirky, unique, strange, fantastic or just plain interesting. Get comfortable in your skin. So when someone comes up to you and tells you to never stop being yourself you will know who that is.

Beginnings

I'm engaged.
Can you believe it? I think I'm still in shock, so don't feel bad if you are amazed too. It's a huge, wonderful, scary step. A new beginning for me. What will the future hold? I have no idea, but it sounds like fun to me!
Lately my fiance and I have been working on his house. It was once a disaster, but he bought it knowing what he could do with it. Now, it's gorgeous. The kitchen is nothing short of spectacular and we cut and stained our own wood trim.
So now I have been blind-sided by a marriage proposal from my best friend and am very suddenly immersed in wedding plans. We are shooting for a March wedding, so the mothers are pushing ahead full-force. Thankfully! I feel like a bug running around in a box with all these plans. Useless and goofy looking. So very glad to have these two wonderful women in my life.
And my bridesmaids! It was so much fun asking each one of them to do me the honor of standing up with me at my wedding. Their individual responses were priceless. My friend Kaitlyn gave a similar reaction to the one I'm sure I had when Jake asked me to marry him. Haha! It was awesome. I seriously cannot wait to have a blast with those girls. They are each a treasure to me and I'm so grateful for them.
Mom keeps telling me not to stress, things will all work out. Does anyone else think that a bride not stressing out seems impossible? But I see it as a glorious challenge! I will be that bride. Ha!
But in all honesty, I'm just better at things like collecting and naming various random bugs, like Stan the YellowJacket and Carl the StinkBug. Sid the Slug was a glorious find...till Jake stepped on him. (I'm still curious whether that was truly an "accident").
Anyway, getting shoved and squeezed into lacy, complicated contraptions like wedding dresses are miserable experiences in my opinion. The gown associate seemed personally offended that I didn't want to buy the entire store. But I'm not into the million dollar wedding stuff these women think is necessary. No thanks. I'll stick with my jeans, hoodie and books.
I don't even like flowers. They are pretty, but smell heinous. Besides being obnoxiously expensive, they are only decorative for a day then they die. Ok, I'll admit it...the reason I am so frugal is because I just see spending money on a truck as more practical. And a glorious library, but that's neither here nor there.

All in all, things are going well so far and I'm glad Jake loves me despite my weirdness. I can't wait to be married!