The bane of my existence

We all have our weaknesses…yes, even I. My particular kryptonite is a seemingly harmless evil called “laundry.” I pretty much loathe doing laundry. For me, it has never been simple and cute like Susie-stinkin-home-maker makes it appear to be. Nooooo…I play the game of grand procrastination when it comes to laundry. I let it get to that shameful point where I am wearing two totally different socks (all day long) because I have seventeen and a half pairs crammed tastlessly into my ridiculously small laundry basket/hamper.

Which, by the way, is a terrible method of improving bad habits…a smaller hamper never seems to encourage me to do laundry oftener. Oh no. My basket is crammed tight and towering up like Mount Vesuvius before I ever get around to doing a load…or three. It’s usually three.

There is no such thing as a “small” load of laundry. Not for me. Why do they even have that option on the machine? Nope, I’m vigorously stuffing random socks and underwear into any possible cranny and then sitting on the lid to keep everything in so the thing will run.

Not to mention the laundry detergent issue. Oh man.

One fine glorious day, my mom and I were chatting and I was sorting laundry. Now, my mother will follow you throughout the house if she is talking to you, cause she has stuff to say and it is worth making a decent long conversation out of. So I’m ignoring the slight ribs and jabs about my laundry habit and trying to get Vesuvius to look a little less ominous. Anyway, she follows me to the washing machine where I proceed to pour in the laundry detergent like I always do. I take the lid off and just give the jug a nice, quick swish around the barrel of the machine. Mom stops mid-sentence and I hear this squeal of horror.

Apparently that was not the “most economic” way to be doing laundry.

She claims that is not the way she taught me to do laundry, which I gladly agree with. That was my own brilliant innovation. It started about the time I began cooking without using tablespoons. But that’s another day’s story.

When is a hoodie technically "dirty" anyway? Is it wearable for one day...? Three....days....? A week? (Can you hear the hopefulness in my voice?) It really is an intolerable situation. They don't make a code for doing laundry. People, like myself, have no choice but to try to train themselves to make laundry a bi-weekly habit! All for the sake of cleanliness. I'm all about good hygiene, don't get me wrong, but this is just a bit extreme...this laundry business. 

We all have our weaknesses.