Love Covers

Ugh. The most difficult part of writing for me is putting the pen to the paper, or fingers to the keyboard, in this case. Once I get writing, it's easy. I have to motivate myself to write, because when I don't do it I feel further and further away from it. It's like calling a friend that you haven't talked to in a while...you're half afraid to even call because you are ashamed of how long you have let it become since the last time the two of you talked.
Silly. But, then, so are a lot of mindsets we allow ourselves to fall into. I am trying to be above that, and this is my effort. :)
So...what's new with you? I'll tell you what's new with me. I have a son! He is just so amazing. When he smiles, the whole room lights up, and I never knew such complete happiness until now. He was due on his daddy's birthday, but delayed eight days and ended up coming the day before mine. It was a very scary experience for me, going through a pregnancy and labor. I had the dreaded "morning" sickness for four months (which just happened to be over the summer, bleah!) and then I ended up getting induced and pushing him out with no epidural or pain medication. I was so afraid and I remember wishing I was more like my husband. Jake is fearless, I've never met anyone like that before. He doesn't even think about it, he just sees something and conquers it. That, to me, is nothing short of amazing, especially considering what he has gone through in his life. I wanted to be that way, unafraid.
God got me through it, though. When the doctor laid that little body on my chest I could only wonder how such a thing is possible. All of the sudden what I had only imagined or dreamed about was incredibly real. His little face looked so scared, like he wasn't really sure what had just happened to him or where he was. I just felt such a surge of love and protectiveness that I can only imagine is a fraction of what God feels toward each of us.
Life is beautiful. A brand new baby may inspire you to realize it, but life is truly beautiful at every stage. I think we just lose sight of that fact because of the impact sin has on us all. We fail each other, we fail ourselves and we hurt so deeply. In a panic to protect ourselves from further pain, we block each other out and even come to hate. Hate. It's more of a reflex to guard ourselves than anything else. Love can make us afraid, because love makes us vulnerable. But there is another side to love, and that's the part we choose not to remember. Love covers sins. "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8) Love has more power than we give it credit for. And, believe me, I struggle with that more than anyone. I am the queen of hiding behind a mask of hate to protect my tender feelings. But I don't want to remain that way.
I want to love. Earnestly.